Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with life in the best way, the kind where I fall into bed at the end of the day & wonder how is this me? how is this reality? & why will it all end one day? I’ve been facing the reality that I’m 30 years old, 1/3 of the way through my life & there’s a part of me that aches to be here longer than that. I wish to bottle up these days, to relive the best of them & pray for do-overs on the worst, just so I can say that I lived the best life possible.
It makes it hard to sit down at the end of the day, when motherhood & wifehood & work have drained me. There are so many nights I just sit with the iPad in my lap at 10pm, watching one episode of Bones just to separate the day from my REM cycle. I could be blogging, I could be folding laundry, I could be sleeping, but most days I choose to pause one last time over my sleeping boy & sniff his cheeks.
It’s an act that makes me both forget & remember how quickly the past four years & my life have flown. I ache for more.
I cannot wait for more.
I dyed my hair red after chopping off 7+ inches & I ran my first sub-11 minute mile the other evening after work. I won’t say that my jeans are any looser but I am definitely stronger & very proud of myself.
Plus, we had 3 inches of snow on the ground today.
I feel like the list of things to make me happy once seemed impossible – find a man that loves me, create a family, work a job that gives me purpose & fulfillment, keep my body strong, love my God, & end each day thankful – but I’ve done it & if I can do it, you can meet your dreams too.