Blame the endorphins & the snow.

by Beth Anne on January 29, 2014

1613840 10101033101927501 634139775 n Blame the endorphins & the snow.

Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with life in the best way, the kind where I fall into bed at the end of the day & wonder how is this me? how is this reality? & why will it all end one day? I’ve been facing the reality that I’m 30 years old, 1/3 of the way through my life & there’s a part of me that aches to be here longer than that. I wish to bottle up these days, to relive the best of them & pray for do-overs on the worst, just so I can say that I lived the best life possible.

It makes it hard to sit down at the end of the day, when motherhood & wifehood & work have drained me. There are so many nights I just sit with the iPad in my lap at 10pm, watching one episode of Bones just to separate the day from my REM cycle. I could be blogging, I could be folding laundry, I could be sleeping, but most days I choose to pause one last time over my sleeping boy & sniff his cheeks.

It’s an act that makes me both forget & remember how quickly the past four years & my life have flown. I ache for more.

I cannot wait for more.

1604434 10101033102017321 1007356273 n Blame the endorphins & the snow.

I dyed my hair red after chopping off 7+ inches & I ran my first sub-11 minute mile the other evening after work. I won’t say that my jeans are any looser but I am definitely stronger & very proud of myself.

Plus, we had 3 inches of snow on the ground today.

I feel like the list of things to make me happy once seemed impossible – find a man that loves me, create a family, work a job that gives me purpose & fulfillment, keep my body strong, love my God, & end each day thankful – but I’ve done it & if I can do it, you can meet your dreams too.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah C. January 29, 2014 at 9:25 pm

Gorgeous photos! And such an upbeat post. So happy for you. (Loving the new profile pic too.)

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Beth Anne January 30, 2014 at 4:40 pm

You are lovely.

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KellyGreen January 29, 2014 at 11:15 pm

Awww…love the tone of this blog, put a smile on my face. Love the new ‘do!

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Beth Anne January 30, 2014 at 4:40 pm

Thanks, Kelly! I’m finally getting used to it :)

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Erin January 30, 2014 at 10:40 am

I think thoughts like that nearly every night, too – why does time go so fast, and why does this all have to end one day? Life is scary and precious beyond measure – I guess we’re all in the same boat, and all we can do is savor the crap out of every day.

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Beth Anne January 30, 2014 at 4:40 pm

Yes, all of this. Like a weird panic & appreciation mixed together.

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kristen January 31, 2014 at 11:58 am

Ugh, me too. When I was young, it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t always be around. But now that I have a child, and my parents are getting older, I think about it constantly. I hate it. Definitely trying to learn to savor more.

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Gretchen February 1, 2014 at 4:53 pm

BA, you’re glowing! I’m so glad that everything has fallen in to place… Here’s to 2014 being your best year yet!

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Hannah February 1, 2014 at 5:46 pm

This post just made me so happy for you. You’ve worked so hard to get here not sure you alone, but you, your husband, and hibby. Being able to make a list of things that makes you happy and being able to apply all of them in your life is a huge success and you should be incredibly proud. You’ve done well, BA! And I hope your happiness only continues to shine brighter!

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