Lately the clock & calendar seem to be moving at a faster pace than I can scramble to keep up with.
At work, my fingers fly as I take over the responsibilities of another country & another client & one more, if you could please. I’ve started adding an extra shot of espresso to my non-fat caramel macchiato but I secretly love it. I love the busy & I love my little cubicle in a tall black building where Harry’s artwork peeks out from under software notes. Over lunch, I send off emails & LinkedIn requests & resumes. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the coming months but I’m learning to trust & hope that something really wonderful is just waiting around the corner.
When I’m not at work, I’m kneeled in a Target aisle, asking Harry if he’s sure he wants the hot pink goggles. That I don’t mind buying them for him, but I want to be sure he’s going to like them even if the other boys tease him. “Why would they tease me, Momma?” he asks & I feel a knife twist through my heart. It’s a bittersweet feeling of his innocence versus my ineptitude & insecurities as a mother.
When we’re not buying groceries & scrambling out the door in the morning, we’re playing in the pool water, surrounded by our new neighbors. There’s a bag of Goldfish crackers peeking out from my big canvas bag & most of the time we just bring cold sandwiches to eat for dinner. I notice a few more freckles sprinkled across my nose & I’m just wearing one wedding band these days because humidity & my swollen knuckles don’t get along. We all smell of sunscreen and chlorine and strawberries. I think we’ve gone through several gallons of the berries already.
This past weekend, Harrison spent his first solo weekend at Grandma & Grandpa’s house. Two nights on his own & two nights on our own. We splurged for dinner at Angus Barn & went to see a movie & it doesn’t quite feel like we’ll be passing the seven year mark in just a week, but we will. I’m still as wild about him & those steady blue eyes as I was when I wore sorority tshirts and his dream was to join the PGA.
It’s a good life & I’m so glad I’m living it.