Lately.

by Beth Anne on July 1, 2013

Lately the clock & calendar seem to be moving at a faster pace than I can scramble to keep up with.

At work, my fingers fly as I take over the responsibilities of another country & another client & one more, if you could please. I’ve started adding an extra shot of espresso to my non-fat caramel macchiato but I secretly love it. I love the busy & I love my little cubicle in a tall black building where Harry’s artwork peeks out from under software notes. Over lunch, I send off emails & LinkedIn requests & resumes. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the coming months but I’m learning to trust & hope that something really wonderful is just waiting around the corner.

When I’m not at work, I’m kneeled in a Target aisle, asking Harry if he’s sure he wants the hot pink goggles. That I don’t mind buying them for him, but I want to be sure he’s going to like them even if the other boys tease him. “Why would they tease me, Momma?” he asks & I feel a knife twist through my heart. It’s a bittersweet feeling of his innocence versus my ineptitude & insecurities as a mother.

When we’re not buying groceries & scrambling out the door in the morning, we’re playing in the pool water, surrounded by our new neighbors. There’s a bag of Goldfish crackers peeking out from my big canvas bag & most of the time we just bring cold sandwiches to eat for dinner. I notice a few more freckles sprinkled across my nose & I’m just wearing one wedding band these days because humidity & my swollen knuckles don’t get along. We all smell of sunscreen and chlorine and strawberries. I think we’ve gone through several gallons of the berries already.

This past weekend, Harrison spent his first solo weekend at Grandma & Grandpa’s house. Two nights on his own & two nights on our own. We splurged for dinner at Angus Barn & went to see a movie & it doesn’t quite feel like we’ll be passing the seven year mark in just a week, but we will. I’m still as wild about him & those steady blue eyes as I was when I wore sorority tshirts and his dream was to join the PGA.

datenight Lately.

It’s a good life & I’m so glad I’m living it.

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Jill @BabyRabies July 1, 2013 at 2:41 pm

Love your perspective :) Thinking of you!

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@LisainLouKY July 1, 2013 at 2:44 pm

Gorgeous photo!

Praying your perfect opportunity is right around that next corner — right in HIS time! :)

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Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife July 1, 2013 at 2:56 pm

Sounds like life is sweet right now. Enjoy!! :)

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Jami July 1, 2013 at 2:57 pm

Love hearing how life is for you guys these days!

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Erin July 1, 2013 at 3:05 pm

Love it – a crazy busy life is a happy, FULL life, and I think it’s awesome that you embrace it! I’m the same way!

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Robbie July 1, 2013 at 3:28 pm

Sounds like a mix of busy work and relaxing fun..enjoy!

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KeAnne July 1, 2013 at 3:43 pm

Angus Barn! One of our favorite restaurants :-) It sounds like you are in a good place right now, and I’m glad to see it. Keep eating those berries and enjoying life.

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Jenny July 1, 2013 at 3:44 pm

I feel happy coming through your post. Life is good BA. Good indeed!

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Laura July 1, 2013 at 3:53 pm

Trust that something good is coming your way!! Nice to see you back here!!

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monica July 1, 2013 at 4:02 pm

i so connect with you and the pink goggles. Alex picked out a fairy/princess fake tattoo (from among other choices such as angry birds, wwf wrestlers, etc) as a reward this weekend. While applying it, he said he was excited to show all his friends at school in almost the same breath as my husband asking if I thought we should wash it off before sending him to school today. such hard things to manage as parents that don’t adhere to gender stereotypes but knowing others he spends time with might. We are also planning for his first solo trip to camp G&G–but it involves a plane ride (with one G each way). I hope Harrison enjoyed his weekend with them. Good luck with the new clients and with the potential opportunities awaiting you.

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Jean July 1, 2013 at 4:09 pm

At this age, will little boys get teased if they choose pink? My son is the same age and I haven’t heard the teasing starting yet, but he does sometimes say “pink is for girls.” But then other times he says it’s his favorite color :)

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Christene July 1, 2013 at 4:12 pm

Life is good and so is summer. Enjoy these days!

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Danielle July 1, 2013 at 4:25 pm

I hear you on the googles too, ours were pink Crocs. And kids absolutely tease at this age, especially those with older siblings who have already “learned” that pink is a “girl color.” Breaks my heart. I don’t care if it’s helicopter parenting. I will be around to teach and correct my kids that teasing is never OK. Who cares if someone else is different than you?

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E Abbey July 1, 2013 at 8:02 pm

What a lovely post about stopping to smell the roses … and eat the strawberries. Great way of putting the unknown into perspective. As John Lennon said: “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” Keep on enjoying!

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Sarah C. July 1, 2013 at 9:58 pm

Sounds very, very good! Glad I finally got to meet you in person last week. :)

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Maija @ Maija's Mommy Moments July 1, 2013 at 10:10 pm

That photo is beautiful (you look amazing!) and totally worthy of a frame and a mantel.

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kristen July 2, 2013 at 9:52 am

So glad to see a blog post from you! Your whole neighboorhood pool situation sounds like HEAVEN to me. I’m so jealous of that! It would make our evenings fun and easy and awesome. Love your date night pic and the fact that you guys got a whole weekend together! Good luck with all the job stuff – I hope great news is just around the corner!!

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Arnebya July 2, 2013 at 10:47 am

I’m glad you’re living it too. It is the simple things we think of that make us the happiest, usually.

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Desiree July 2, 2013 at 4:55 pm

Sounds like y’all are having a very happy summer.

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Katie July 4, 2013 at 7:35 pm

Hi BA,

I’m a follower (lurker, I suppose) of your blog since you were “the heir to blair” and also a reproductive psychiatrist at UC San Diego (I started their maternal mental health clinic in 2007). I’m trying to get some of the popular women’s blogs, in which a mother has openly talked about her struggle with PPD, to support the distribution of a new symbol for PPD awareness: The Blue Dot. HIV/AIDS had the red ribbon, but PPD has nothing.

This is a blue dot that you stick on your car and it lets other women know that they’re not alone–someone else has been through it, or knows someone who has. It’s subtle, but if we can get enough mommas to do it, then it will blow up the stigma that PPD has. Kind of like open and honest bloggers have started to do.

Website: thebluedotproject(dot)org

My email is khirst(at)ucsd(dot)edu

I don’t normally leave comments or my personal info, but I am hoping this is something we could team up on.

– Katie Hirst

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Rebecca July 4, 2013 at 9:18 pm

I love love love reading what you write. I know it must be daunting to share your life with us when you’ve had so many d-bags leave nasty comments, but I hate to think those losers could rob those of us who love hearing your voice. Your way with words, humor and raw honesty have inspired and encouraged me since I started reading you three years ago. Life is busy and precious and I adore that you’ve shelved the internet to be present in your real life with those two handsome men of yours, but I’m equally happy to see your posts come through my reader :)

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