Today finally arrived.
It’s 6:43pm & the sun is still shining.
MY SOUL HAS RETURNED.
I’m going to admit that it was touch-&-go there for a moment & by a moment, I mean the entire winter season.
There were moments last week in the middle of grey skies & the perpetual drizzle (what is this fresh hell? the pacific north west? no.) where I wasn’t sure I could keep on going. In the past few weeks alone, I considered spending the majority of my time on my doctor’s couch with drool coming out the left side until I get new insurance where Abilify & Wellbutrin don’t cost a mortgage payment. I was all THIS FEELS PERMANENT & I’m listening to Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen” on repeat.
I think God felt mercy because this morning we woke up at the new 8:45am to the purest sunshine & an afternoon of 64 degrees. I don’t know how sunshine & warm weather can effect me so strongly, but I’ll take it because I’m starting to feel worthy of taking up air-space again.
Depression sucks. The warm heart-awakening of emerging from the gloom makes it worth the fight.
Thank you for making it through this season with me.
Sparkles & unicorns & sunshine & love,
BA
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
All! Of! This!
I, too, have SAD and am lucky that my medication is pretty cheap. Even still, I have been READY for winter to end and counting the days until sunshine and warmth again.
That being said, I spent this weekend in Chapel Hill and the weather was delicious. I feel like it has energized me for the rest of the week and gave me the much needed proverbial “eff you” to February’s crappy weather.
Glad you’re seeing the light again and happy 60+ degree days!
XOXO
Dude, we got 8″ of snow here Friday. Don’t even talk to me. I”m fit to be hung.
I catch up on your blog most weekends, love it, but have never commented. This might be dumb and you might have been there, done that, but….have you ever used a SAD light??
Might add a little extra (artificial!) sunlight to your life! Just a thought!
Yes! LOVE my artificial light.
I was thinking of you yesterday (strange, I know, we don’t even know each other). We had a beautiful day in PA, plenty of sunshine and 60 degree weather. I was hoping your day was even sunnier and warmer.
It’s amazing how much the promise of spring and extra sunshine can lift your spirits in an instant.
Yay!! So glad you made it
oh girl. i could NOT have said it better myself. i was lying on my couch yesterday with the glorious sun pouring in through the window, draped on me like the most wonderful blanket and finally, FINALLY feeling alive again. we survived another one!!! it is nothing short of a small miracle. xo
This is the first winter where I’ve really noticed a change in my mood, outlook, whatever you want to call it. I blame it on postpartum hormones, combined with new baby-trapped-in-house, and finally roller-coaster winter weather where mother nature would tease me with 50 degrees and sunshine only to turn around and snow the next day. So yesterday was absolutely amazing! It was a long, sunshiny day and 68 degrees here in Ohio. So, so, so very happy for signs of spring!
Bravo friend! Isn’t it a complete bitch seeing how much meds cost? I saw the full non-insurance price on one of mine and was disgusted (and incredibly thankful I have insurance). How do people who don’t have insurance get well? It sucks. We need to figure out a way to help people get the meds they need and deserve. NO ONE should have to live with severe depression when there are alternatives.
Yay!
I SO feel you. Friday I was having a total come apart and by yesterday, I was all, “Life is AMAZING!”
Depression sucks & Wellbutrin rocks.
Happy Spring, BA!
Well, since nobody has mentioned it. Your hair looks darker in that picture, I likey
Happy sunny day. I sure wish someone would have informed the toddlers of the world that they really, really should have gone to bed on time since now it really, really makes for a crappy morning for all!
I hate having seasonal depression. I suffer from it and it hits hard around February. I am so thankful Daylight Savings came early and to see the sun out at 7pm!
I am so with you, BA. Our weekend was also beautiful and I felt like I finally started snapping out of my funk. Thank God, spring and happier days are upon us now. Though I wish I could afford to move to southern California in time for next winter…