Today finally arrived.
It’s 6:43pm & the sun is still shining.
MY SOUL HAS RETURNED.
I’m going to admit that it was touch-&-go there for a moment & by a moment, I mean the entire winter season.
There were moments last week in the middle of grey skies & the perpetual drizzle (what is this fresh hell? the pacific north west? no.) where I wasn’t sure I could keep on going. In the past few weeks alone, I considered spending the majority of my time on my doctor’s couch with drool coming out the left side until I get new insurance where Abilify & Wellbutrin don’t cost a mortgage payment. I was all THIS FEELS PERMANENT & I’m listening to Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen” on repeat.
I think God felt mercy because this morning we woke up at the new 8:45am to the purest sunshine & an afternoon of 64 degrees. I don’t know how sunshine & warm weather can effect me so strongly, but I’ll take it because I’m starting to feel worthy of taking up air-space again.
Depression sucks. The warm heart-awakening of emerging from the gloom makes it worth the fight.
Thank you for making it through this season with me.
Sparkles & unicorns & sunshine & love,