The five minutes that changed me forever.

by heirtoblair on December 13, 2012

On a Thursday afternoon in January, my boss called me into my office & told me he’d have to let me go because his limo was an hour late the week before & he just “didn’t have time for those types of mistakes.”9e2d7058200e11e19896123138142014 7 300x300 The five minutes that changed me forever.

I remember sitting there in silence & I looked at him in disbelief & I looked at the HR representative beside me who wouldn’t meet my eyes & somehow I managed to squeak out that I understood & thank you for the opportunity, I learned so much here.

I was screaming on the inside.  My blood ran hot & my palms ran cold & I kept thinking about my salary & our benefits.  All of our benefits were gone.  I took a step back in my career in hopes of moving forward, but I lost it all because a luxury limo was an hour late.  A limo that I had no idea was late until the moment I was fired & my hands shook as I flew back to my desk to check my calendar, to call the limo company, to verify it was my fault, but my now ex-boss stood beside me impatiently & I had only minutes to pack my desk.  He walked me through the halls while everyone stared & I’m still not sure how I managed to not cry until I climbed into my car.

In my termination packet was a note that said I would be paid full salary through the remainder of January & that the company would provide benefits until March 1st at no cost to me.

(It even seemed odd at the time, to be dealt a severance package when I was fired based upon performance.  Eleven months later, that job is still not filled.)

I learned valuable lessons through the experience:

  • Yes, an entire pint of ice cream can be consumed in a 24-hour time span by one person.
  • Being fired is one of the most damaging critiques to self-worth & self-esteem.
  • Months later, I still quake inside when my new boss asks to speak with me.  If he closes the door, I damn near need a Xanex & someone to come peel me off the ceiling.
  • I wonder if I truly am stupid & incompetent.  If the full scholarship & the books & the writing mean nothing, if the person who defined my success will always be a vice president at a pharmaceutical company where I worked for 10 weeks. Ten weeks out of a decade of working.

Deep down, I know I’m not a failure & I know it’s not reality, but it still feels like my reality now & I think it’s fair to acknowledge that I feel absolutely imcompentent in everything I do since that day.

{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }

Cheri December 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Whoa. I had a VERY similar experience over 2 years ago and it still haunts me almost every day. I’ve been reading your blog forever and a day and have never commented before. This totally spoke to me. I know how you felt. It sucked. Worse than almost anything.
Thanks for writing.

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Beth Anne December 13, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Pretty much the worst thing. I’m so sorry you know what it’s like, too.

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Kacia December 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

I remember that day.

And you are talented, beautiful, hard working, amazing and hilarious.

Never forget those truths.

Xoxox!

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Beth Anne December 13, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Sometimes I swear if you weren’t on the other end of the phone, I would be lost.

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Sarah Koci Scheilz December 14, 2012 at 10:19 am

Oh, I second Kacia, BA. You’re marvelous. So sorry you had to walk this path . . . and grateful that you’re sharing it.

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Erin December 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

:( No good…no good at all & I totally understand! People can diminish your self-worth so fast & it’s so hard to rise above that & have faith in yourself again…give it time; it will happen.
When my bosses fiercely argue that a mistake is never “their fault” I want to shove the proof back in their faces so bad but I don’t; it kills my self-worth sometimes & I go home to beer & ice cream but then a new day comes & something happens like taking 6wks off for reconstruction surgery & every thing at work went to hell in a handbasket reminds me how valuable I am & how good I am at my job! You’ll find that day too; I promise!
p.s. the limo guy sounds like the dick scalping toys on ebay ha!

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Beth Anne December 13, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Validation, my friend. It’s a beautiful thing sometimes. So glad you got yours while healing!

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Erin December 13, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I think Kacia said it best above! Remember those words b/c they are SO important!

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Erin December 13, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Oh & Thank You ;)! Plus your new job sounds way better…I mean M&M’s in the breakroom?! I only get those if I actually go out & buy them myself! Me Jealous! Last year while I was going through chemo (and working full time mind you) my bosses didn’t even buy me a Christmas present; 5yrs working for them & the year I have cancer no present ha! Every other year there was something! So candy in the breakroom? No way!
So like I said it gives me great pride to come back & snicker at them trying to do my job & me having to fix all their mistakes haha!
Now I’m off to get some peanut butter M&M’s…

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KeAnne December 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

He sounds like a jerk & like there is a lot more to the situation than what you were told. I’m sorry that happened to you, BA, but please don’t let it dictate your self-worth. While devastating, I bet that situation saved you from a really horrible experience with him as your boss. Hugs. We’ll try to find you a job w/ the state. God knows you’re more likely to die on the job than be fired.

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Beth Anne December 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Girl, you know how I feel about that part of “saved you from a really horrible experience with him.”

Considering the upgrade in employment I got, maybe I should send him flowers & a thankyou note?

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Heather December 13, 2012 at 12:15 pm

I wish you would send him a thank you note! He obviously did you a favor! Good riddance.

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Heather December 13, 2012 at 12:16 pm

That sounds weird.

I mean to say, he sucks, you don’t want to work for someone like that.

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Beth Anne December 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

ha! Didn’t sound weird at all. I knew exactly what you meant. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve penned the “thank you” in my head.

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Katie December 14, 2012 at 2:09 am

My husband was fired 3 months before we got married and his boss owed him over $15000 in back pay, that he ultimately never received. One month after we married, he was offered a (fabulous) job at Microsoft as a programmer. When he got his first box of business cards, I so wanted him to send one to his old boss; it seemed like an appropriate “neener neener”. He never did send it, but now 5+ years later, he’s a senior developer at MSFT. So yes, thank you, stupid boss who fired my genius; we’re fabulous.

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Ali @thecoffeeqwwn December 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

The only time I have ever been fired in my life came because another employee didn’t like me and called the boss every time I made a mistake or needed help. I was actually told asking for help was my weakness. I was a manager trainee at the time for a bank that failed an audit. Another manger said it was a witch hunt by the employee and months after that employee apologized because she was getting the shaft from that boss she cried to about my performance. It was validating having her apologize but I still cringe every time I pass by that bank.

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Beth Anne December 13, 2012 at 12:16 pm

CRINGE. You got thrown under the bus. I’m so sorry.

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Arnebya December 13, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Pish posh. It’s not you. I’ve been fired a couple of times (I should really feel bad saying that, huh? I used to. Now I just giggle and sigh) and believe me pleasing others is hard as hell. It can be a limo, a refusal to get coffee (THE GODDAMN KITCHEN IS BESIDE YOUR OFFICE, MAN!), forgetting to send out a bill, anything. Sometimes, sure, it’s more, but you are not incompetent and you know it. I’m sorry that that one 10 week guy has your nerves frazzled, but I’ma need you to look in the mirror and spell and say Hey, BA. You got this (then whisper bitches because it makes everything better.)

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Beth Anne December 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm

DO NOT TELL ME YOU GOT FIRED OVER COFFEE.

The only people who should get fired over coffee are Starbucks workers.

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Arnebya December 13, 2012 at 12:28 pm

No, I was “spoken to” in HR because I refused to get coffee. I was then reassigned to an attorney whose asistant left the week before. In the back of her drawer was a pile of bills a month old that she’d never sent out. I found them weeks later and told the attorney. I was “spoken to” in HR because I didn’t find them sooner. My work history is starting to look suspect as hell now that I’m typing it all out. Huh.

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Arnebya December 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

What would you be spelling, I ask myself. Ugh. Look in the mirror and smile. SMILE. (And a bit of background: fired in high school from KMart because I let an old woman slide for not having $.15. I put the change into the drawer from my own pocket but noooooooooo. THEFT! YOU ASSISTED IN A THEFT! Fired from a data entry company in the early 90s because I used the phone for a personal call (we were told not to. I did it anyway. My fault. Sue me for being a screw the man, I’ma call my boyfriend 19 yr old.) Fired from a law firm after five years there because someone in HR didn’t complete the addition of my daughter to my health care deduction. I submitted the form twice. Once I realized it still wasn’t done, I didn’t say anything else. For months. Again, my fault. I willingly had insurance that I knew I wasn’t paying for. There is another but I don’t want to talk about it. It’s the one I didn’t deserve, the one that does creep into my self worth and capability thoughts just like your 10 weeker.

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Jill @BabyRabies December 13, 2012 at 12:32 pm

I’m sorry you’re still feeling the pain of that day. I think there were obviously other factors, unrelated to you, that played into all that. It just sucks you had to be affected by them. And look at how far you’ve come and how much you love where you are now!

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Joanna December 13, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I once worked for a Christian Counseling company. I was there for a total of six months, but originally hired on a 90 day trial period with the understanding that I would have an evaluation at the end of that time.There was no evaluation. I was doing the job of at least two people and everyone seemed to want me to do my job differently.

One day one of the co-directors came into my office, and crying, told me she felt like she’d failed me in not giving me the training I deserved. She thanked me for doing a good job and asked me to forgive her. Of course I did.

Two weeks later she came into my office again with the other co-director and one of the counselors. They fired me because “it just wasn’t working out and they wanted to take the position in a different direction.” I too got a severance package.

All that to say, I know exactly how you feel. Before that job I always felt confident in being an asset in whatever job I had. We can’t be mind readers and some people just can’t be pleased, but now I think I will always question my value.

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molly December 13, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Sigh. Yes. I’ve been through this. Unfortunately, multiple times. I was seriously just as surprised as you in June when this happened to me. When you said that when your boss calls you into the office and shuts the door? OMG. I can’t handle it. I have to breathe deeply in order to not have a panic attack right there on the spot.

I know my career does not define me. Well, it’s not supposed to. But it’s so hard not to let it. I completely know where you’re coming from. It’s not a club I wish on my worst enemy.

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suzanne @ pretty swell December 13, 2012 at 12:33 pm

When I got fired by a horrible boss (after three years of mistreatment), my dad told me it was a blessing in disguise. Of course I didn’t believe him. I doubted EVERYTHING about myself. Am I really a writer? Can I do PR? Maybe I should change careers? Am I coordinated enough to wait tables? Then I landed in my current job a month later and I LOVE it. Until now I’d never known it was possible to actually love work. But I’ll be honest — it took a LONG time for me to regain any semblance of confidence. And I still cringe when I turn in a story for editing. Give yourself some grace, friend. You’re in a good place with good people. Now, if they’d just lift that dang hiring freeze and get down to making you a permanent employee, all would be right with the world.

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Beth Anne December 13, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Kicked puppy syndrome, love. You give me hope.

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A. December 13, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Been there. Was fired a month after being praised for a good job, minor pay raise, and after a training a new employee. Still shakes me to this day so I don’t think about it at all. The blessing of all it is that it required me to do soul searching. Now I have taken a different path in my life and it was really for the best. Still sucks majorly though.

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Angela December 13, 2012 at 12:44 pm

My husband just went through this in October. He started with a new company in August. Before and even he was hired he told them of the vacation we had planned and fully paid for the first week of October. They told him no problem and approved it. A full week after we returned they fired him for taking an unapproved vacation. Another week later we found out we were pregnant. Thankfully he found something and is working again.

There is nothing wrong with you. He was a jerk and you are in a much better place now.

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samantha December 13, 2012 at 1:07 pm

We gone through that too! My hubby worked for a company with rotating shifts. I was really sick about a year after he had been with them and needed a surgery. We had to go to a specialist in a different state to get it done. He had to call in sick for 2 days because instead of the standard 2 day in hospital recovery I needed five. But he had the sick days to take off and his boss knew where we were and that I had just had a major op. two weeks after we got home they fired him, two weeks after that I found out I was pregnant with baby #3! It sucked, but was a blessing in disguise for us, as he works for an amazing company now!

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Jessica December 13, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Oh my, BA. He sounds like he was real peach. I’m sure the HR rep couldn’t look at you because even she knew what was going down was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

Clearly, it turned out to be the best for you. But those wounds are hard to heal, having been through that myself. It’s a pain that sits just below the surface and you just never know when it will crane it’s ugly head.

It certainly was one heck of an adventure I’m sure, but look at you now, you are soaring over his sorry, limo riding behind.

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Jess December 13, 2012 at 12:53 pm

My company was doing surprise layoffs and I had no idea what was going on, why were people crying? I had my coat on to leave for the day and got called in. I packed up my stuff (mind you I was 6 months pregnant and our team had a potluck that day so I had a crockpot along with all my other crap) and then got a call 3 hours later that they made a mistake and they did still have a spot for me. I almost wanted to turn it down just because I was so angry.

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Joanna December 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm

OMG it’s like you are in my head. I relive being let go all the time. Like today, is my annual review and my first one at the company I’ve been with for 6 months and I’m terrified because it’s at 3:00 and 3:00 is the exact time I was called into a conference room and fired because I was spending too much time away from work with a 6 month old who was in a body cast.

That was almost three years ago and I still remember every detail like it was yesterday. Sitting in the room alone, crying, wanting desperately to call my husband but realizing first I had to walk through the office tear stained and pack up my desk. I slipped out a side door and never said goodbye to anyone. My heart was broken.

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Kristin December 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Oh man, have I been there! Except my boss was too cowardly to do it herself and pawned the task off on an HR lady that was grandmotherly sweet. I managed to maintain composure until 5 seconds after the huz answered my call. And I WAILED that I was fired. Ugh. Solidarity, Ms. BA.

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Amanda December 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I question everything I do to this day based on one previous employer, and I have been in the medical field for almost thirteen years.

So many people forget that their employees are HUMAN. And humans aren’t perfect. There’s so much stress put on us to not make any mistakes, to be 100% at everything we do, to accommodate everything that is thrown at us the moment we get it, and to “leave our personal stuff at home.”

It sucks that it has to be this way.

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Sarah December 13, 2012 at 1:18 pm

i dont comment much (the one other post i wanted to comment on you disabled comments for hah…) but i just had to say i 100% am right where you are. i was fired from a LAME job for a LAME reason that paid me nothing and i hated anyways. i told people it was a blessing – and it was a blessing – but it still haunts me.

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andrea December 13, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I so sympathize. While I’ve never been fired, I have been laid off three times. But the worst thing for me is the closed office doors. Right out of college I got a job working for a state agency under a woman who was a master manipulator. Literally, she took joy in spreading rumors and making people feel awful. After working there for two years, she called me into her office THREE days before she knew I was signing the paperwork to close on my house loan, (she really liked to have closed door meetings) and closed the door to tell me how my job was in jeopardy and I might be getting laid off and that she wanted to do everything she could to save my job so she wanted to “help me look more valuable” (such bullshit, my job was never in danger of being eliminated, she just wanted to mess with my head three days before buying my house.) I started looking for another job that day and was able to leave 6 months later, but I’m still traumatized from working for that woman. I still get nervous and my heartbeat quickens when a boss asks me to come in and shut the door. I still hear from people that work in the same department with her (btw, 9 of the 12 people that worked for her quit, retired or transferred within a short amount of time and HR refuses to do anything about her) and she likes to make comments about how I didn’t do anything she asked of me and she never got some assignments I’d been given. I would love to go to her office and ask her just what assignments I hadn’t done and see her stammer and come up with more lies.
Sorry for the incredibly long post, just to say, I hear ya. I’ve been in a sorta similar situation that left me feeling like I just wouldn’t be appreciated for the hard work I’d done. Also, in high school, I got laid off on Christmas eve from my part time job. Along with people that had families to take care of. Talk about shitty timing.
This was a blessing in disguise for you, and I’m so glad things have gone better recently for you :)

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Heather December 13, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Been there as well. I was called for an interview at a bank, told them that I was newly pregnant and my OB was in another town. They hired me saying “No problem!” And then when the big boss got back he said my pregnancy was inconvenient for the employees and bank (and this was right after another lady got back from maternity leave). My drawer was the only drawer that balanced everyday… I understand the “kicked puppy” feeling. Thankfully I went back to school and have a great job. But when my boss comes to do evalu

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Heather December 13, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Been there as well. I was called for an interview at a bank, told them that I was newly pregnant and my OB was in another town. They hired me saying “No problem!” And then when the big boss got back he said my pregnancy was inconvenient for the employees and bank (and this was right after another lady got back from maternity leave). My drawer was the only drawer that balanced everyday… I understand the “kicked puppy” feeling. Thankfully I went back to school and have a great job. But when my boss comes to do evaluation and says I am doing great, it makes me wonder when the bad will come.

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Tiffany & MomNom December 13, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Do NOT let that man’s incompentence be the ruler for which you measure your self worth with. Do you hear me? There are FAR too many things on this Earth that come before work, God, family, and your own personal health, among others. THOSE are the rulers you use to judge the value of you and your life…not some a-hole who needs a limo to pick him up places. A LIMO? Really? Get over yourself, dude. I can almost gaurantee you – he is and will always struggle with his own worth, don’t give him the power to make you do that as well. You are a child of GOD, no man or woman has the ability to make you feel anything you don’t allow them to.

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Amy December 13, 2012 at 1:56 pm

That guy’s a douche. Fuck him!

He and that HR chick know they fucked you over for no reason. This is truly one of those things that is not your fault. I know it blows, but hopefully you’ll eventually find some peace in your heart about this. I love you!

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Meghan December 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Sometimes, to get to the good things God has planned for us, we have to go through some awful crap first. I’m so sorry about what happened to you. Getting fired because of a limo is just absolute ridiculousness! However, you wouldn’t be where you are now if you had not been through what you had. I’m STILL trying to find something that makes me happy. Working 2 days for my dad isn’t cutting it, happiness-wise. I’ll get there, though! Thank God for happy pills in the meantime!

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Casey December 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Girl, I so feel you. I was once let go from a job so my position could be given to a co-worker’s buddy. Then, my boss didn’t even have the balls to tell me the truth. I had to find out through the grapevine. Why is it that we tie up so much of our self-worth in our jobs? On my list of life priorities, my career falls somewhere near the bottom, but I still have to peel myself off the ceiling when my boss calls me in. Just this morning I had a bossy-ass co-worker call me out in front of several other co-workers and basically accuse me of not doing my job. My hands are still shaking.

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Antara December 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Ok so you have touched the lives of people around the globe with your words. I don’t think that man can claim to have done even a modicum of what you have. :)
Much love!

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Clair F. December 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I hadn’t been to your new site (I’m on Google Reader) until now, wanting to comment. It looks beautiful! My heart hurts for you. Wow. I hate that this happened a while ago & it’s still effecting you. You are more than this!

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Jenny December 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Me too lady. I was canned almost 10 years ago at an unimportant job I was working while still going to school. To this day, I still don’t have that same confidence that I did before that meeting. Keep your head up, BA and eventually this will be so far in your rear view you won’t be able to see that douchesack over the glow of all of your successes since then.

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Toni :O) December 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

It’s shocking to me how many people this has happened to after reading some of these comments. It’s awful and I love what Amanda said above, she nailed it…we really all are human and make mistakes but man, some people are just way off the charts when it comes to expectations. I, too, was fired but I worked at this place for five months for a CEO. This person verbally and emotionally abused me, threw stuff at me, belittled me, scolded me for putting a box on their desk (“it can scratch it don’t you realize that?! Don’t ever do that again!” Um, it’s already scratched you douche bag!), scolded me for going down the hall to copy something. I had to be dismissed to use the restroom, to leave for lunch and the end of the day, I was practically chained to me desk. This same person told me “I’m not patient and you don’t write fast enough, if you can’t keep up, this isn’t the place for you.” I complained to HR, learned I was the 15th person to sit in the chair in 30 years and that I was more than welcome to find some other means of employment if I desired, that they couldn’t do anything for me since this person was “Top Dog.” Nice eh?! Then this person couldn’t even dismiss me from my job until this person went to the west coast and then had H/R fire me while said person was traveling. It amazes me how this was almost two years ago, yet it’s still with me, still affects me to a degree…it’s hard to shake the damage to my self-image and self-esteem for sure. I now know the right questions to ask BEFORE accepting ANY job offer. I’ve also learned that many, many people SUCK out there big damn time (even my husband was fired from a job he was at for about a year and it was right after we bought our first home near this job…nice timing jerks!)…at least there are also good people out there too but sometimes it seems the people that suck, outnumber the people that don’t!

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Kristin @ What She Said December 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I understand. I’ve been fired both for cause and for no reason whatsoever, as well as laid off due to budget cuts. No matter how you lose a job, if the choice wasn’t yours to go, it’s a crippling blow to your confidence and self-worth. I still struggle with the repercussions and I’ve been at my current job for almost five years.

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Mel December 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I am going through something similar right now. After my current boss resigned, I was fired because he was leaving. And, no I am not joking. The owner said that exact thing. Now, I have to try to find a new job, and am fighting with HR to make sure he doesn’t try to keep me from being paid my last paycheck.

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Nani December 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Honestly, They didn’t fire you because of the limo it was an excuse to get rid of you. When companies layoff people they tend to come up with crap excuses and the first to go are the newbies. THAT is why the position has never been refilled (and I bet your pint of ice cream some poor sap is doing your job PLUS their job.) I worked with HR for a few years and this shit happens. It happened to my mom who worked for a company for 14 freakin years cause they were downsizing (she also got a serverence pay and benefits till the end of the year. Because her actual paperwork said she wasn’t even “Fired” she could literally go back and work for the same company, yeah assholes) . Why tear someone down when it’s not even their fault? Its bullscrap and you shouldn’t feel bad because it had nothing to do with you or your performance.

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betsybug December 15, 2012 at 5:29 pm

You’re absolutely right. I was going to share the same thing, but you beat me to it.

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bekah December 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I can so relate.

I got a raise and then was fired from a bank for differences in my cash drawer – I have never stolen a thing in my life. I found out later that my manager had been stealing and he took $400 from my drawer that day. He did time in jail – and he now works at perkins. (and yes – I have gone – had him as a waiter – and not tipped him a damn penny) I can be petty.

But it still haunts me. I mean – I know what happened, and several people at the bank know what happened, but a lot more people just know that I got fired for teller differences.

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Maija December 13, 2012 at 4:06 pm

So many great people have said so many great (and true!) things here that the only thing I can add is that I think you’re amazing.

xox

Maija

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Kate December 13, 2012 at 4:21 pm

So I am going to echo what someone said above. I completely understand how crushing your being fired is, but based on the circumstances you have shared maybe it really wasn’t anything you did. I work as a CPA (nerd alert – also, I thought someone else in your life is a CPA – maybe your dad?), and clients ALWAYS want to cut their tax costs. Whenever you lay someone off (not fire for cause), but lay someone off, and they file for unemployment it makes your unemployment tax payments go UP UP UP. This means that employers have an incentive to find a reason to fire people (even something as dumb as a 1 hour late limo) when really it should be a layoff due to the company struggling.

Is this ethical? No way. Does it save them money? You bet. Could you prove it in a court of law? Don’t think so. Since your position hasn’t been refilled I would guess that this is exactly what happened to you. Something very similar happened to my best friend (and her position still hasn’t been refilled either).

All this to say – I don’t comment much on your blog, but I think you are great, and I hope you realize that. I would bet this had nothing whatsoever to do with your actual performance. Keep rocking your new (better) job!

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cambria December 13, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Ugh, not OK. I was laid off when I was three months pregnant with my first daughter. The company went under, but it was so depressing – all that hard work and then, nada… The worst part was that my dad passed away a month later. Maybe it was the universe taking something off my plate to be with my dad and focus on my pregnancy.

I’m so sorry for this experience, but I hope the new chapters of employment have been better.

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melissa johnson December 13, 2012 at 8:28 pm

I had a similar experience 3 years ago, still hard the think about. I now have a new job…but in the teaching world you never know. Thank god for meds!

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adorzdmb December 13, 2012 at 11:57 pm

I got fired from a new job right around that same time you did and I felt & feel exactly the same way. Nothing else has made me feel like a bigger failure and that day still haunts me almost a year later (when the hell does that stop!?!?). But I try to put that out of my head, say many expletives to certain people in my head, and say an even bigger THANK YOU – because it gave me back the opportunity to work at a company that gives me time to be with my little boy and husband. Besides, most of the people there were real a$$holes anyway…Sounds like your old boss was the same, hovering over you and escorting you out of the bldg? Seriously?

Also, it’s possible to eat an entire box of Trader Joe’s Charmingly Chewy Cookies in one sitting as well. You know, once you get your appetite back after the agonizing pain of disbelief and depression dissipate!

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adorzdmb December 14, 2012 at 12:02 am

Also, knowing your story and the similarities of our stories makes me feel a lot less of an incompetent asshole.

Thanks for sharing this.

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Becky December 14, 2012 at 12:41 am

Oh I’m soooo sorry!!!!! My eyes bugged out when I read his reason. What a prick!!!

I worked for Satan for 5 years. She would send emails “to discuss” which meant to rip my insides out and hand them back in a garbage bag. My new boss will send an email to discuss & my stomach hurts. The new boss has never treated me awful or anything like the last boss. But that same fear still lurks 3 years later.

I learned through those 5 awful years how not to treat employees. How inappropriate it is to scream at an employee in a board meeting for a mistake that employee has no control over.

Learn from that experience but do not let 10 weeks define your career. Learn how to never treat an employee. You have built an amazing blog with a bazillions reads, sponsors etc. look at how far you have come, what you have overcome in your life but do not let Mr Limo Stink Pot put doubt in your head!!! Big hugs!!!

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Kim December 14, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Yes, been there. It was so reassuring to read this post, thank you, and to see all the comments – to know that those of us who have been fired truly go through the same feelings. I like the movie “Up in the Air” for that reason – it’s all so recognizable. I got fired 3 years ago because the day before the firing, my boss had asked me what I envision for my job for the next year, what I want to add on, what I want to work on… well apparently there were right and wrong answers. And, now, I’ve been almost 3 years at a job that I keep getting reassured at that I’m a “model employee”, but I never believe them because of that day. I hate that it did that to me and took away my self-confidence when it comes to any employment.

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Natalie December 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Damn. That sucks. I’m really sorry. As a fellow mama who has been shit-canned in the past, I can say that it 110% sucks ass. It’s truly awful.

Buuuut, you have to know that you are not incompetent in every thing that you do. If so, Doug would have fired your ass as a wife.

Working, is a necessary evil. If I didn’t have to work, I wouldn’t. I have decided that I will not let any job or lack of any job define me. I certainly won’t let those douche-bag Drs office people who fired me define me either.

It does take time to get over it all. It doesn’t make it sting any less. And I hate to break it to you, but I totally get sweaty palms & ass everytime my supervisor asks to see me. I think that is just part of my wonderful anxiety – it comes with the territory.

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Morgan (The818) December 17, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Mama, you know I feel you. For ambitious folks, there are few greater blows to your sense of self. Being laid off taught me more about myself than I ever thought possible. It also sent me in to one hell of an effing tailspin.

Oh, but just one thing your ex-boss failed to mention that I can attest to after a few years (?!) of friendship? You? Are AWESOME. I admire you in all kinds of embarrassing ways.

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Breann December 20, 2012 at 11:44 am

When I graduated college and moved to Houston – my first job was hardly glamorous – but it was at least in the field I went to school for.
2 days before my wedding I was fired and told I had “no ambition.”
Now – I am a successful Interior Designer with an Architectural firm and manage large accounts on my own.
Someday I hope to see that lady out and about and tell her to take her critique and shove it up her ass.

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heirtoblair December 20, 2012 at 1:37 pm

AMEN & APPLAUSE.

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