Ute Thumps & Heart Thumps

by heirtoblair on October 30, 2012

title: Ute Thumps & Heart Thumps firstkicks Ute Thumps & Heart Thumps

I was 17 weeks the first time I felt Harrison move. I never had the moments before where I wondered, “Is that it? Is that it?” Maybe because my sciatic pain hurt too badly for me to focus on anything else, or maybe because I was always shoving my face with bean burritos, so let’s not even pretend it’s baby flutters.

I think I was sitting at my desk in my office when I felt them & my hand flew to my belly. It was a slight flutter, like a tickle on the inside or a little bug flitting around. I paused & held my breath…then I felt it again. & again.

For several weeks, those little kicks became the most precious inside joke between me & my baby, when I would giggle because he’d be flipping around. My belly was still forming & squishy so some afternoons when I couldn’t feel them, I laid on my stomach on the bed just so & boom! he’d start kicking & flipping.

nudge, nudge, nudge. hey, momma.

It became my lifeline to Harrison on the days when I feared another miscarriage, where I wondered if he was okay & I’d grab a sip of Coke & he’d kick me in response. The day when I cried over daycare costs & insurance & just when I was about to sob that having a baby was a big mistake, he nudged his foot & it brought me back to how much I loved him & wanted him.

nudge, nudge, nudge. everything will be okay, momma.

Harrison grew & pulled & in the middle of May, Doug placed his hand on my belly & felt him for the first time. His eyes lit up & my heart overflowed because this baby was ours. This active baby was from me & him & we’d be holding him soon.

nudge, nudge, nudge. i’m all yours, momma.

Then that month before birth & he pressed his foot into my hand through my belly & it felt weird & sci-fi but so perfect. I shook his foot & he pressed it back into my hand.

nudge, nudge, nudge. i’ll see you soon, momma.


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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Erica October 30, 2012 at 7:09 pm

ummmm thank you for making my ovaries start twitching…..ME NEED FETUS NOW! LOL

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Sarah Jean Baker October 30, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Love this! And it also made wanting to wait a bit longer for another even that much more challenging! Oh, the joys!

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Angel Wypiszynski October 30, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Today has not been the best day with the toddler. I had forgotten those wonderful memories. I had forgotten how fleeting these moments are. Thank you for restoring my strength…gotta go kiss my little guy.

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Brandy Crosby October 31, 2012 at 12:58 am

Im really looking forward to feeling this one move. Right now all I feel is blinding morning sickness 24 hours a day.

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Kelli G October 31, 2012 at 2:03 am

Awwww love this!! I called them “inside snuggles” and it was my very fave thing about being preggo. Especially cool with my twins!

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leah @maritalbless October 31, 2012 at 12:06 pm

So freaking sweet . . . and I can’t wait to feel this baby more!

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Jenn October 31, 2012 at 12:49 pm

37 weeks this week, sobbing at my desk as work of course, as I read this…I really started thinking….That is the ONE thing I am really going to miss about being pregnant. (I will definitely not miss anything else….except for the fact that I can have a huge fatty day and just blame it on being preggo). I am going to miss the kicks and turns and butt moving across my belly and as annyoing as the hiccups are several times a day….I will miss them when they’re not there!!!!!! Okay, now I am really crying! Thanks for posting this!!!!!!!

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