Harrison’s “school” does some pretty fantastic stuff & a few weeks ago, they did “school pictures.”
I’ll wait for you to die a little. Don’t worry, I’ve been to the grave & back about 20 times over these pictures.
I can’t decide if they kill me because he’s my kid & I think he’s awesome, or because they’re so effing ridiculous that it’s frame-worthy. Like, “Oh, hey! Just standing on the beach in my regular clothes. No big deal.” Pretty sure it’s going to be framed because it’s just not a family house until there are bad school pictures on the walls. I take wicked glee in knowing that when he’s 40, this picture will still be in our living room.
Truthfully, I wasn’t planning on beach scene pictures because those were for the babies that couldn’t sit on a pony because they brought a mother-effing pony named Peanut Butter to the school for the kids to sit on. Complete with cowboy hats & vests & bandanas & I lost my momma marbles thinking about my kid in a cowboy hat on a miniature pony. I dressed him in his coolest plaid & talked up the pony like whoa. He was SO EXCITED about the pony. “Pony! PONY! PONY!” was the song of the day on the way to school & then he about had a stroke when he saw the pony trailer parked out front & I’m inwardly fist-bumping the idea that in a mere two weeks, I’ll have a picture of my kid on a pony. High kicks for cute!
Then we walk through the school & head to the back playground & he sees the pony & immediately spider-monkeys me. Climbed up me with his own brute strength & clung to my neck for life. I tried to conjole him into sitting on the pony, promising prizes & treats & how happy it would make Momma & he’s like, “Bish, you be crazy.”
Apparently they tried again in the afternoon to get him on the pony because it must have been written all over my face how badly I just wanted one pony picture, but no dice. He was, on the other hand, willing to stand beside a wooden chair on an indoor beach scene.
This is also one of those really deep lessons in life on loving the kiddo you have even when he won’t sit on a pony. Because not sitting on a pony is just the kind of kid he is, you know?