Oh. THAT’S why you keep your tax forms.

by heirtoblair on June 27, 2012

0940e924bfab11e18bb812313804a181 7 300x300 Oh. THATS why you keep your tax forms.I have a pretty detailed file system that includes going paperless on everything, tossing shit into the trashcan the moment I get it, & having a very specific file case for our past tax forms.  My daddy is a CPA & prepares our taxes for us each  year – after filing for us, he hands us all the print-outs & I put them in that clunky folder that is safely tucked away until forms are needed.

Like when we registered Harrison for speech through the county back in February & they needed our 2010 tax forms.  I produced them, scanned the 1040′s, & the file sat on our kitchen table for months.  Then they were packed with the rest of the books & salt shakers & placemats, instead of put lovingly back into the folder.

Which didn’t phase me until we handed over our vital organs paperwork for our new loan & the loan gal is all, “Bitches, please.  This is only your 1040 & I’m going to need to see some W2′s.”

Mine was easily produced by contacting my old HR director & promising him a baggie of M&Ms in exchange for a copy.

Doug?  Not so much.  If you remember, his company closed on Halloween & even if they could get their paws on his 2010 forms, it’s sort of a I-would-rather-eat-my-own-liver-with-a-straw-then-contact-them sort of deal that we both feel.   Cue ripping apart every box in storage & every desk drawer to no avail.  Which meant that the IRS was our only option.  Since Doug has a hard time getting time off work, I decided to do my main squeeze a solid & go to the local IRS office for him.

After waiting in an uncomfortable chair for 2 hours, I approached the government worker:

Me:  “Hi, my husband & I are buying a house & we need copies of his W2 forms.”
Her:  “No.”
Me:  “No?”
Her:  “No.  It’s a privacy issue.”
Me:  “Okay.  But we’ve filed jointly for the past six years.  Here, I have our marriage license & my ID proving that I’m me, plus copies of our jointly filed 2010 & 2011 tax forms, including his 2011 W’s.”
Her:  “No.”
Me:  “He can’t get off work to come down here, so I’m doing it for him.  What is he supposed to do?”
Her:  “He can call & leave his name & address & we’ll mail them to him.”
::long pause::
Me:  “Let me get this straight.  He can call with no way of proving that he is who he says he is & you will mail them to the address he gives.  But you will not give his legal wife who files jointly with him copies of his W2′s?”
Her:  “That’s correct.”
Me:  “Ma’am, I understand that these are not your rules & that you can’t hand them to me.  But do you realize how absolutely ridiculous that sounds?”

There was nothing to be done, of course.  I do understand that she had no way of knowing if a) I was a serial killer with forged documents or b) in the middle of a nasty divorce trying to rake him over the coals.

Lesson to be learned?  Keep copies on hand at all times.  Always put them back where they belong after using them.  Scan them into your computer.  Tattoo them on your ass.

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

justine June 27, 2012 at 2:14 pm

girl. i want to beat the living daylights out of every spouse that has taken advantage of the system in the past, making it impossible for us well-meaning spouses to do anything in the others name. as a military spouse, my husband is often deployed, and when that shiz happens to me, i want to smack a bitch. as a matter of fact, i just dealt with that today, trying to ship our car to germany-the lady is all, we can’t release any info to you. but your husband (who works full time and is dealing with EVERYTHINGELSE) can call. and all i wanted was to know if they got some faxed paperwork. ugh! and now that i am all pregnancy crazy, i am bound to either shrivel on the ground crying or go into a hormonal rage and yell some expletives that should never be spoken.

in other words, this was written in a timely manner in regards to my current situation and i can relate ;)

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Jennifer @ Also Known As the Wife June 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Justine, I’m a military spouse as well. Do you have a POA from your husband? I throw that thing around every chance I get when the “only your husband” card gets played.

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Erin July 4, 2012 at 11:56 pm

I know this is probably illegal BUT, if it is over the phone, I just pretend I am my husband. They say “YOU’RE Mr. So and So?” and I say “yep!”. There is not much they can do – what are they going to say, you don’t sound like a man?

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Lauren June 27, 2012 at 2:19 pm

i feel your bureaucratic pain. When my daughter was born they misspelled her name on her birth certificate, which resulted in them misspelling her name on her Social Security card. When I tried to correct it, with my 10 week old infant in tow, they told me they could do nothing until I had documentation to prove her identity. I hav e no idea what sort of paperwork, beyond a corrected birth certificate, can prove a 10 week old’s identity. Apparently the birth certificate proved her citzenship but not her identity. In the end they took the little yellow immunization card with her name hand written on it by her peditrician as proof of identity. This was clearly a fail-proof way to ensure I was not making up the existance of my infant daughter.

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Kristin @ What She Said June 27, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Tax forms and vital documents make me itch. Seriously. I’m an intelligent, educated grown woman, but anything having to do with that sort of shit just makes me want to turn in circles wailing, “But what do I DO?” They make me a total idiot.

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Jennifer @ Also Known As the Wife June 27, 2012 at 2:44 pm

You’re a better and more mature person than I. That fiasco would have set me into a tizzy ending with me in tears. Guar-UN-teed!

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Lena June 27, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Me too!

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Amanda O. June 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm

The system is crazy, ‘fo sho! I remember thinking the same thing each time I update my info online too. If I’d gotten hacked, the fool on the computer would have all my info. They could change passwords, male requests on my behalf, etc. Crazy!

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Rachel @ The House of Burks June 27, 2012 at 3:38 pm

That is absurd. Like, I can’t even process that kind of ridiculousness. It would make me want to bang my head repeatedly into the wall.

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Becky @ From Ministry to Motherhood June 27, 2012 at 3:45 pm

This is exactly what happens to me each time I visit my cell phone carrier. {sigh}
This also happens to my husband when he tries to contact Canada revenue on my behalf. {double sigh}

What is this world coming to that they’ll send things in the mail after a phone call but will not give the info directly to the wife when she obviously double files? You were way nicer than I would have been…

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Amanda June 27, 2012 at 3:52 pm

As an employee for the state of NC (not IRS, another agency) I can tell you 100% how ridiculous all of the “rules” are. And I can also tell you she was probably 10% following the “rules” and just 90% lazy. I can say this b/c I live in it 40 hours a week. :/

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Inara June 27, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I just dealt with a similar issue at the DMV last month. It’s ridiculous. I thought the point of being married was that you could take care of each other’s shit. Apparently not. Sigh.

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Keep Calm and Have a Cosmo June 27, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Marriage is completely disrespected these days. As a military spouse, I cringe at the way organizations look at spouses and their authority. Read: we have zero authority. On my husband’s last deployment I had a general power of attorney and three special powers of attorney (for our cars, our kid’s health decisions, and real estate). My first thought when I read this was that I wish you had a POA on hand to do these favors for your honey… but sadly, they would probably look at your general POA and tell you that you needed some super-special-tax-form-for-2010-POA. Seriously. So much red tape.

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Carolyn June 27, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Those kinds of situations drive me NUTS, because my husband (while being completely CAPABLE, intellectually) is AWFUL with any kind of paperwork. If anything needs to be done, I’m the one to do it (in his defense, he does all the cooking and lots of other household tasks, so he’s not completely useless!) We had an issue early in our relationship where we needed his W2s from YEARS prior, and between having to wait for him to call the IRS (since I couldn’t handle it myself) and then waiting for the IRS to get back to us by mail with what else they needed from us, I thought I was going to lose my mind – snail mail and letting someone else handle the paperwork. I don’t think it can get any worse :)

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anonymous June 27, 2012 at 8:51 pm

hey, i work for the irs, anything that you file jointly together is yours, such as your 1040 but anything with just your name or his name are only yours or his. these are the rules, to those who comment calling this lazy (Amanda), shame on you. would you rather your identity be protected or would you rather someone just give out any information containing your social security number. there are specific verification questions that are asked to ensure we are speaking with the proper person, it’s not a guessing game.

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Amanda June 28, 2012 at 9:34 am

Another ballsy anonymous poster. I work the public’s SSNs every single day. The system is so flawed b/c all common sense has gone out the window (in terms of bureaucratic processes). And yea, I’m still going with lazy too.

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Erin June 27, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Thank you for reminding me to re-file my paperwork! I had it all filed until we refinanced & now I think it is still on the office floor in the “to be filed” pile…everyone has those right?

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Christina June 27, 2012 at 9:25 pm

try this shit when you decided not to change your last name and still want to be acknowledged as the spouse. Antiquated fucking system.

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Sara T. June 27, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I’m an Underwriter… your mortgage company should be able to order the W2 transcript from the IRS through a third party and it should not take more than a day or two. They should be verifying your 1040′s with transcripts anyway. At least that’s how we roll in the correspondent lender world. I feel your pain… getting a mortgage these days is all kinds of ridiculous. Good luck!

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anonymous June 27, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Your cpa dad didn’t keep a copy of all the information that went into the return he prepared for you? You should check with him. Normally tax preparers keep documentation for the returns they prepare for their clients.

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heirtoblair June 28, 2012 at 9:13 am

Nope :) Since he prepares for our entire family, he hands it all back to us & it’s our responsibility to keep up with it. He does keep the 1040′s on file but the rest is in our safe-keeping.

It’s been a good system until I screwed it up!

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Chelsea June 28, 2012 at 2:50 am

In El Paso, Texas you can get legally married with a photo copy of your birth certificate, NOT a certified copy, just a photo copy. Can you get a drivers license or identification card? NO. What the hell? I can not wrap my mind around the way some things work.

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Tonya Martin June 28, 2012 at 10:28 am

Hey Honey,
I feel your pain. My hubs is a mortgage lender and I used to work as his loan coordinator. I agree with Sara T. , contact your lender and have them order the W2 transcripts for you – there is a form that you can fill out and they can send to the IRS for transcripts and usually get them back in less than 48 hours. This is a common practice and the Underwriter will likely order the transcripts anyway for verification.
Good Luck!
tonya

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heirtoblair June 28, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I wish we had known this!! What a good tip. Thanks!

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Julia June 28, 2012 at 10:58 am

Wow. Government at work… I’m sure the best part was that she said all of that with a straight face.

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Rebekah July 1, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I am a mortgage lender. Contact your lender and complete a form 4506-T (if you have not already). With this form, the lender can get a copy of your W-2 in 2-3 days. :)

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The Mommy July 2, 2012 at 1:53 pm

So, if this were me, I would have probably grabbed my cell, asked for the number that Doug was supposed to call and called it. Then, I would have put on the best Doug impersonation the woman had ever seen, given all of the “classified” info that was necessary (because, let’s face it, we usually know more about our guys than they know about themselves) and had the forms mailed. And I would have done it all in front of her. Because I’m not classy like you. ;)

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