I rub my feet together as I fall asleep.
It’s a self-soothing thing, kind of like how some people suck their thumb or bite their nails or how Harrison used to make this noise at the bottom of his throat.
It’s not a big rub & it’s not something I do against anyone else, but just my own little feet rubbing against each other. It calms me.
On Sunday afternoon, Harrison was napping in his room and I was napping in ours & it had only been an hour when he stumbled blearily to my bedside with a whimper. He had been so sick that week and had no nap on Saturday, so I was surprised to see him. Wordlessly, he climbed over me & snuggled down into the pillows & sheets beside me. I laid down beside him & felt his little feet.
rub, rub, rub.
I couldn’t believe it. Where did he learn that? When did he start? We never coslept, so it can’t be a learned habit. But it’s a signature move of his momma & I realize that while the rest of the world only sees Doug in him, I find myself more often than not.