There’s something about the ocean that heals me. Last year, it was a week at the beach that helped me realize that Harrison loved me, wanted me, & chose me.
Late Sunday morning, I scooped Harrison up & waded knee-deep into the water. After hours of playing in the sand & dodging waves, my tired boy laid his head on my shoulder, arms draped but hands firmly grasping my shoulders. The water glittered crystal blue & the waves came – some rocking gently, some causing me to regain footing in the sand. Much like life & this past year.
I stood there in the quiet with my son, feeling the burden lift. The guilt I felt over missing so much of his first year, not wondering if he would ever forgive me, but wondering if I could ever forgive myself.
Somewhere in that sunshine & salty air, the forgiveness came. Warmly, slowly, seeping upwards until I felt everything melt away.
I stared out into the water & came to the realization that it was just a season in my life. Just a moment in the bigger picture, much like the wave that just made me side-step to the right to keep balance. An entire ocean out there of hope & life, but to let go of that wave so I could be ready for the next.