Two years ago, this day broke my heart.
Today, it was pieced back together.
I cried a lot today. I woke up with a selfish heaviness in my heart, a few tears for the baby I lost two years ago. & within an hour, I hunched over my desk in desperate prayer for my best friend & her babies. I cried with fear. This friend, who held me & brought me slippers & cupcakes two years ago. Her babies, that she fought so hard for. Hours later, I closed my eyes in a silent thanksgiving to God as a text came through that Jenny was safe & her triplets were here.
Tonight, I wrapped my little boy in my arms. Thankful for the journey that brought us together. Thankful for the peace we feel. Praying that soon, Jenny would do the same to her boy & girls.
November 22nd held such a gloom & hurt. But now, we have a reason for joy.
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
You’re such a gifted writer. These words were beautiful. And Happy Birthday to the triplets!
I just cried again. Today the world was blessed.
I still have random days that I wake up feeling the same way as you! I had a miscarriage a year ago and it is definitely something that I will never forget or get over. It is because of people like you that I have hope for our future…we will have a happy, healthy baby one day.
Jenny will be in my prayers!
http://theramblingsofahousewife.blogspot.com/
we are so blessed today! Much love to you BA!
Earlier this month, my husband and I found out that we lost our baby. I was 11 weeks at the time.
I’m a long time reader and I went back and read all the posts tagged as ‘miscarriage.’ I want you to know that those posts have been a great comfort to me. I am sorry for your loss but am happy that today brings sweet babies to your friend.
Praying for you, PB&J (T,E, & C), and Jenny tonight.
<3
How beautifully written. My heart goes out to you (I have been there, too) and how beautiful to have some joy to temper the sorrow.
What an amazing miracle to have them turn this day into a joyous one again. Best wishes to Jenny and a big hug to you!
Very touching!!! /my daugter had a miscarrage 2 yrs ago, very painful to our hreats! We were bleesed a week ago w a babyboy, after being misdiagnosed for 3 days for pnemonia we cose to send him to a hospital for premies1 tHEY FOUND HIS LUNGS WERE COLLASPED and he was suffocating! Thank God today, my daughter brougt him home, he is a healthy boy now! I wish you only good things in life, sorry for your pain!
Wow. There are a couple of things that make me say that… I remember that day. The day that Harpie became and angel. But I just know that it was her (I’m convinced Harpie was a girl) that was looking over PB&J/ETC on this day.
Can you do me a favor? Next time you see Jenny, can you give her the most giant hug for me? I still wear the common thread bracelet she mailed me and think about her triumph each time I see it. You two are so lucky to have one another.
I will never forget the day we lost your sweet Harpie. You are an amazing friend, and I feel so blessed to be able to give you the comfort you so deserve. Two years ago, today, and always. I love you and your family so dearly.
Oh, friend, prayers for both you and Jenny (& PB&J) tonight as I close my eyes! LOVE to you all. XOXO
I love when you find joy where once there was pain. It gives me hope…
As always thank you for sharing what needs to be said but is sometimes so hard to say.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t know what its like, but I’m sure it doesn’t get any easier, but I’m happy for you that now this day holds some happiness for you. Also, I’m sending prayers over Jenny’s way for her three little baby’s that came into the world today
How beautiful is this coming full circle??? wow.
I feel your pain. 2 years ago on the 24th of this month we lost our first child at 14 weeks. 3 months later we were told we would never have children, but on October 16th, 2009 our beautiful son Jonas was born and we held him in our arms.
I am already dreading Wednesday and the pain that I will feel. The saddness I feel because I will never hold my first baby, but joy because God had a bigger plan for us, and if it weren’t for our first loss we would never have our son…a bittersweet thought that carries with me everywhere…
Thinking of you today. and Harpie.
Ashley
all my thoughts and prayers are with jenny!
Thinking of you & Jenny today. LOTS of prayers. I have nothing but good a good feeling about PB&J. xoxoxo
God is good, indeed!
Happy B-Day to PB&J!!!
This was beautiful. Thinking of you and Jenn today.
I remember when you lost Harpie. I cried although I have never met you. And today reading Jenny’s blog and this post, I cried again. Mostly happy tears for the birth of her 3 miracles. Congratulations Jenny! And to you BA, for always being able to look on the bright side of things.
Hugs. I’m always surprised that I still feel very sad & melancholy on December 22nd. This year will mark 3 years since I lost my Green Bean and even though I have a precious daughter to snuggle, I still think about that babe who I never got to meet.
Wow Beth – I had no idea. God works in wonderful ways my dear. Much love to you and yours, as well to Jenny and her new family.
congrats to your dear friend and her thanksgiving miracle! those babies are going to be a-okay!
Yay for Jenny and the babies!!! Such a blessing! Three years ago tomorrow was my first due date. The one that came and went because there was no baby anymore. It’s glorious that we can rejoice now!
How amazing that the triplets were born on the anniversary of losing Harpie. It’s amazing how God works to bring joy out of suffering, beauty out of ashes.
I am crying with you as I read this post. You’re such a brave woman Blair. Hang in there & know that there are THOUSANDS of people praying for you & PB&J (and their mama & dada).
(((((()))) No words, just hugs.
What a sweet, heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing and we’ll all keep PB&J, as well as Harpie, in our thoughts and prayers. Happy Birthday, Tobias, Eleanor, and Callista!
Big squishy hugs momma. You and Harpie are in my thoughts. How poetic? (I’m struggling for the right word here) that your dear friend brought PB&J into this world this day. Again, big fatty hugs to you and to Jenny.
Oh goodness, I feel like a jerk for not even thinking about your sad anniversary yesterday as I was emailing you my baby’s slideshow and congratulations on the triplets’ arrival. I’m very glad you now have a reason to be happy on Nov. 22 now. Thoughts and prayers for you, Jenny, and the gorgeous new trio!
beautiful BA. I am SO happy for Jenny and Rob and the trips! I almost cried when I read her blog and saw her tweets! And their lil pics are adorable!
I”m here if you need to talk.
You are a strong, beautiful woman. With many blessings, and all “bad” things comes some good, to be thankful for
Ugh, tears!!! Wow. I am praying so hard for those three babies who I don’t even know.
And I also say a prayer for you.
like some of the previous commenters here I remember when you lost harpie. it might sound weird but it was because I was pregnant too, due almost the same time, and my heart just broke for you.
I’m so glad you have your beautiful boy to snuggle and SO happy for Jenny and her three beautiful babies. All of my best thoughts and wishes go out to all of you.
Y’know? I think Harpie was looking down on Jenny and PB&J yesterday, watching out for them. How beautifully perfect.
I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now and every time I read it, I think to myself, “man, I really like this girl!” While reading this entry, my heart felt both heavy and happy for you. Quite simply, I am a fan and I’m cheering for you.
i love it when a day gets redeemed like that… when you have a little joy to balance the grief. congrats to your friend
Hi,
Across the ocean I’ve been following your blog, but never had the courage to post.
Your post gave me goosebumps. Beautifully write. Congratulations for your courage
My baby was a premature baby, but he’s doing well now. Hope the triplets are doing well.
Eva
x
Tears. tears. tears. I’m so proud of you for your courage and strength, and my heart is absolutely FULL of joy for Jenny and her beautiful little babies.
I remember learning of your loss of Harpie. And I remember posting about it in my own blog.
(http://notsuperjustmom.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-so-sad-right-now.html)
I’m still so sorry for your loss.
And I’m still so freaking pumped for Jenny and the triplets. (And Rob, too.)
I really enjoyed (is that the right word?) going back and reading your miscarriage posts. We lost our second baby October 14, 2009 at 12 weeks. I have been unable to get pregnant again since then. It’s been a long road of going back and forth between being happy with what we have and crying out “Why me?” and “Will we never conceive again?!”
Thanks for the reminders that we’re not alone in this, and that the grieving can continue, as it needs to.
Even though I was a stranger to you 3,000 miles away and you couldn’t bring me cupcakes, you were that friend to me when I went through the same thing this February. I’m thankful for the kindness and love you showed me, and for you taking the time to help someone you didn’t know all the way across the country. You’re a wonderful woman with a good heart. I’m sorry you felt heavy today, but I am also happy to hear that even though you have Harrison, that you still think about Harpie. i don’t ever want to forget these babies I’ve lost (I’ve since lost another since then). That being said, I’m so happy you have Harrison to start mending your broken heart. You are blessed.
it’s been awhile since i stopped by and it seems i chose just the right time. I completely understand your feelings, the baby we lost to sids was born in november and this is a hard time of year for our family. We’ll be praying for your comfort and peace during this time of the year. I love the family photo of the three of you, it’s such a beautiful picture and a reminder of how blessed you are! Harrison is adorable.
-carrie b.
God is great. Thank you for those words.
Blair, I cant even imagine the loss of a baby. But I cant help how strong you are for blogging about it. Thank you for all your wonderful posts. God bless you, Nate, & Harrison